Monday, December 30, 2013

The Big Sister

I think baby girl is not making her appearance because she doesn't fully understand what she is missing - namely her big sister's blossoming personality.

For my own sake I'm going to use this post to record some of the things I've observed her say and/or do in the last week or two.

There was the time she lined up her stuffed animals on the couch, took a step back, put her hands on her hips and said, ''Ok, talk.''

Mr. San Antonio accused me of reading her too many spy novels.

Then there was the time she tripped and asked me to kiss her knee. Then immediately picked up baby doll and said (to the doll), ''STOP CRYING!''

A few days later I heard her say, ''Giraffe need time out. Need to listen to mommy. Ok? Ok.'' Then there was a pitter-patter of footsteps down the hall... "Sit on time out pillow, one minute. Ok. Good. Need listen first time. All done.'' And the pitter-patter returned to the back room.

I've mentioned this before, but she has started to yell at my belly ''COME OUT!'' at random times during the day.

She has also started patting people on the bum either as a form of endearment, or to speed us along (she'll say, ''come on mommy" and pat my bum.

Yes, I realize that I can barely shuffle along at this point, thank you for the reminder Rufflebum.

And then there was the time we were eating lunch and my stomach growled and she said, "Mommy tooted."

"No", I corrected her, "mommy's tummy growled."

She looked slightly confused.

A few minutes later she let out a gigantic toot. And I asked her if she tooted. She sweetly looked at me and said, "My tummy growled."

That one had Mr. SA in stitches.

She received a tea set for Christmas and loves loves loves to make us tea. But she's a little hasty as a waitress. She hands us the cup, and before we even have time to fake a sip, she's asking for it back so she can go and "refill" it. Someone needs to explain to her the joy of lingering over a cup of hot tea.

She is doing a lot more self correcting these days too. We've been working a lot on speaking respectfully (i.e. not yelling when she wants something), and listening/obeying the first time we ask her to do something.

Now she will often correct herself... yelling "NO!" when I ask her to do something, and then saying to herself, "listen first time" and then doing what I asked of her.

She is sweet to other children, often being the first to say hello to new kids at the park. She loves to pat babies and is quick to offer kisses.

Sometimes she yells at other kids, "BE NICE!" But I think it is partly her way of reminding herself to be nice - as though her inner dialogue has accidentally emerged.

Whenever she hears a child/baby crying she points it out and insists that he/she needs a blanket (because that is what she wants when she is upset).

Earlier today I dropped something, but Rufflebum thought I had ran into something and she asked me if I needed her to kiss my knee.

When she hears music she says, "Music is beautiful, I love it."

When she sees Christmas lights or a sunrise she says, ''It's beautiful, I love it."

She offers to help me around the house. Frequently asking for another task when the first is finished.

She is becoming increasingly thoughtful, kind, empathetic, and considerate. She is learning to feel sad when others feel sad. She is learned to share her toys. She is learning to give affection. She is learning to observe her surroundings and appreciate the things she has been given. She is learning to self correct. She is learning about her irreplaceable role in our family.

And I love watching every minute of it. I am so grateful to have her in my life and to be able to be her mommy. She is a wonderful little girl and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

-The Pampered Bird

Friday, December 20, 2013


Still no baby.

I mean, there is a baby. We just haven't officially met face to face yet.

And frankly I'm losing my patience.

Even Rufflebum is losing it... yesterday she lifted up my shirt and yelled at my belly "COME OUT!"

We're ready. As in, I've washed every dirty piece of clothing, bedding and towel in the house.

As in, I cleaned my whole house yesterday and even dusted Mr. San Antonio's guitars... which I never do.

As in, my maternity clothes no longer fit and I'm stuck wearing sweatpants everywhere now.

As in, I was tempted to put red pepper flakes in my oatmeal to bring on contractions.

As in, I've been taking Rufflebum on long walks, and when labor doesn't start I rake the leaves...

Now, I realize I'm only 39 weeks. And I realize she could still wait almost three more weeks to show up if she wants to.

For the last couple weeks I've been really really really ready to not be pregnant anymore. My heart says that I really want her here before Christmas. And in my mind I've justified why that is the perfect timing. And every day I stress and get anxious and get frustrated when my plan doesn't jump into action.

Then finally this morning it dawned on me that God probably knows what He is doing. There is a reason she hasn't come yet. And He is waiting for the perfect day, hour, and moment to let me meet her. He knows what midwife would be best for me to have on call. He knows which nurses should be on duty that day. He knows what day will be best for Mr. San Antonio and for Rufflebum. He knows just how much developing/growing/knitting together of our baby He needs to do before she enters the world.

And today I've started to change my attitude. I still want her to come today, but I'm more at peace if she doesn't. God and I aren't enemies in this situation. In my heart I keep thinking He's holding back from me. He's not letting me meet her! He's not letting our family move into the next phase of our life! He's not letting us have what we want!

But He wants exactly what we want. He wants her to join our family. He wants her to be loved and cared for. He wants us to teach her about Himself. But He's God and He probably also has a higher level perspective on the whole situation and knows things I don't know about what is best for all of us. Hmmm... God knows more than I do? I need to remember that one in the future...

So for now, we're still waiting. Waiting for our little girl to be placed in our arms. Waiting to kiss her nose. Waiting to tell her her name. Waiting for our hearts to expand.

Psalm 38:15

But for you, O Lord, do I wait;
    it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.

While I wait I'll just keep reminding myself that no one has been pregnant forever...
The Pampered (and very very very pregnant) Bird

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Things I'm Enjoying

Things I'm enjoying these days:

(In no particular order)

1. My new washer and dryer.

2. Saying farewell to my old washer and dryer that required the use of a wrench to turn on and could wash approximately 1.5 towels at a time.

3. Every time we ride in the car, hearing Rufflebum say, ''Everyone one side! Here comes Princess Claire!'' (Mr. San Antonio taught her that... )

4. Making gingerbread houses.

(One for the house... one for me...)

5. Seeing how happy Mr. San Antonio is with self employment.

6. Spending a morning with Rufflebum and her two Grandmas - going to the theater and out to lunch.

7. Baking my siblings' favorite Christmas cookies in anticipation of their arrival to town.

8. Laughing when Rufflebum makes a ''grumpy'' face - which she can't hold for more than 1 second without laughing herself and saying "Claire funny!"

9. Finding Rufflebum ''resting'' in the baby's crib, after she has filled the crib with the baby's clothes and stuffed animals.

10. Hearing Rufflebum request Christmas music over Raffi.

11. Getting to see several dear friends who have traveled in from out of town (and/or country!)

12. Being asked by strangers when the baby is due, and watching their reactions when I say, ''any day!'' (Usually they start to look around frantically as though I'm currently in labor and it's up to them to catch the baby.)

13. Anticipating meeting this precious baby girl and getting to hold her and kiss her for the first time.

14. Watching Rufflebum put herself in timeout, and hearing her say to herself, "need timeout pillow, need to listen to mommy".

15. At Rufflebum's request - reading the Christmas story over and over and over (she is especially intrigued by the role of the shepherds and wants to hear about them again and again).

16. Hearing Rufflebum say, "I LOVE IT!" when she sees Christmas lights, or when we saw the sunrise last week.

17. And last but not least... meditating on the words to O Holy Night, especially the line:

''The thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.''

The weary world rejoices... the broken, the ashamed, the hurting, the mourning, those living with great uncertainty, and just the plain old tired... Jesus came for us. 

And he didn't come as a great and powerful king that we couldn't relate to - someone who had it all together, who never needed anything or wanted anything, someone who didn't understand loss, and pain, and fear, and sadness. 

No, he came as a baby. He lived as a man. 

And he lived through this life so that after he died on the cross, and rose from the grave, and was reunited with God the Father, he could honestly say, "I get it, I've been in your shoes. I've been tired and hungry and sad. I've mourned. I've asked God to take away the pain. And because I've been there, I can intercede for you. I can hear you. I can mend up your broken hearts. I can walk with you in the middle of your storms." 

And oh... for those of us who have received that message, who believe Jesus is who he said he is... how can we not rejoice?

Christmas - Emmanuel - God with us. 

Rejoice weary world, rejoice!

The Pampered Bird

Monday, December 9, 2013

General Update

First of all... the pause in postings is not because a baby arrived.

It's because Rufflebum got "hand-foot-mouth disease" (not to be confused with hoof-and-mouth disease which is in animals). You can think of it as a form of shingles... very very painful rash, but it's only on your hand, feet and mouth. Or in Rufflebum's case - also on her bottom.

It lasted a good week and it was a rough week. Lots of tears. Lots of Tylenol. Lots of Sesame Street. Lots of I'm-so-sad-she-got-this-but-am-so-glad-she-got-it-before-the-baby-arrives.

That was the state she was in over Thanksgiving. But she was getting back to her old self by the time we picked out our Christmas tree.

I got her a special snowman ornament this year that is "unbreakable" and she proudly carried it around all day while we decorated the house.

We've been busy with final preparations for the baby. Putting clean sheets in the crib. Washing baby clothes. Packing our bags. Practicing relaxing through contractions (which start and stop every few days or so right now).

Rufflebum has been gently pushing her stuffed animals in the baby swing and singing them lullabies.  And she has been practicing her mothering skills with her baby dolls. She will spend a solid hour "changing baby doll's diaper", "feeding baby doll her bottle", and her favorite thing is to "burp baby doll". She even does the sound effects and praises baby doll after. "UUUUURP. Good burp baby doll!"

And heaven forbid that I step in to take a turn... Rufflebum spends the whole time correcting my methods.

For example, last week I made the mistake of feeding baby doll her bottle and then putting her directly down to sleep. Rufflebum snatched up baby doll and demanded that I burp her before laying her down.

She was probably also wondering how on earth she has made it to almost two years old with me as her mother.

In addition to preparing for our real baby's arrival, I've been trying to spend as many special moments with Rufflebum as I can. Decorating a gingerbread house, dancing to Christmas music, snuggling after her naps, playing in the leaves outside, "helping" Mr. San Antonio hang Christmas lights. I'm excited to welcome this new little girl into our home, but also a little sad that I will no longer be able to focus 100% on Rufflebum.

(Saying "cheese")


For those wondering - God has been richly blessing us as Mr. San Antonio embarks on his own legal practice. Opening doors for office space, bringing in new clients, and once again providing for all our financial needs.

Last week I called the hospital to put a down payment on my upcoming delivery stay and set up a monthly payment plan for the rest of the bill. I was feeling pretty stressed about the bill since we no longer have a set income each month... but once again my fretting was in vain.

The sweet woman on the phone said I could choose the amount for the down payment and I could choose the amount for the monthly payments. It was all in my control. So I got off the phone with her and called Mr. SA. He and I decided on the amounts. I called her back and made the arrangements.

That evening Mr. San Antonio came home with an envelope of cash... a client had come in and paid him cash for his services. The amount in the envelope was exactly what we had paid that day for our down payment for the hospital.

Why oh why do I continue to doubt God's provision in our lives?

This is why I have to write these things down... create my data base of God's faithfulness... even in these little things.


I hope you are having a wonderful December and are able to rest in the joy that is the Christmas message - Emmanuel - God with us.

The Pampered Bird

Monday, November 18, 2013

Blessings Box Etc.

Last week I wrote about journaling and shared some prompts that I like to use to help me keep track of the blessings in my life (which all come from the Lord!). If you missed that post you can read it here.

But the Bible gives us several good reasons to keep track of God's blessings (besides just doing it for our own benefit). 

Joshua 4:20-24 (emphasis mine)
20 And those twelve stones, which they took out of the Jordan, Joshua set up at Gilgal.21 And he said to the people of Israel, When your children ask their fathers in times to come, ‘What do these stones mean?’ 22 then you shall let your children know, ‘Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground.’ 23 For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, 24 so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever.”[a]

In verse 21 it says that keeping these kinds of records is for the benefit of our children. 

In verse 24 it says that keeping these kinds of records is for the benefit of all the peoples of the earth.

And also in verse 24 it says that it is for our own benefit - that we may fear the Lord our God forever.

So, last week I talked about journaling and how that is for our own personal benefit. As promised, here are a couple of ways to record God's blessings that will benefit your children (either your own, or ones you teach, work with, mentor, etc.) as well as all the peoples of the earth!

Blessings Box:

Things you'll need:
1. A box 
2. Index cards
3. A pen

What to do:
Put a stack of index cards in the box. Once a month, pull out a card (or multiple cards) and write the month and year on one side. Flip the card over and write an answered prayer or blessing. Put card back in box. Once a year or so open the box simply for the purpose of reading through the index cards you've filled out. As the months and years go by keep all the index cards in the box - don't throw any away! Over time you'll have a wonderful collection of answered prayers that can help remind you (and others) of God's provision in your life.

- Instead of index cards you can use nice stationary.
- You can use anything from a shoe box to a beautiful wooden box
- You can get way more organized than me and keep all the cards from a given year in a labeled envelope
- When you write the blessing - you could also include what characteristic of God this blessing displays (example: "We were able to buy a new car!" - God is our provider)
- I've also heard of people placing actual objects in the box that are reminders of God's provision. If possible try to keep a written record of what each object means so that if the box is passed down to a future generation no one will be confused!

Prayer Chain:

Things you'll need:
1. Strips of paper (more fun for kids if they are colored!)
2. Pen
3. Stapler or Tape or Glue
4. Envelope or box

What to do:
This is a particularly good activity to do with younger kids (pre-school through Junior High) who would greatly benefit from a visual of God's power in their life. Whenever the child has a prayer request have him (or you can help) write the request on a strip of paper and place the paper in a designated envelope or box. When that request is answered have them remove the paper from the envelope and attach the paper to the prayer chain (think of the red and green paper chains we all used to make at Christmas time). This activity works really well in a one-year time frame (otherwise the chains will get out of control long!) - which makes it great to use in classroom settings!


I hope this encourages someone! If you have another idea you want to share please leave a comment!


And just in case you are worried that this whole husband-quit-his-job-thing is causing us to sob uncontrollably into our pillows...

See! We're smiling! Because God has already started to open wonderful doors for us and we know that this experience is going to lead to many full index cards in our blessings box! 

Happy Monday!
-The Pampered Bird

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Let's Pretend...

Let's pretend that you are 8 months pregnant.

Go ahead and put a pillow behind your back so you can get more comfortable.

Oh, you're still not comfortable?

Well that's because you're 8 months pregnant - and no one is comfortable when they are 8 months pregnant.

Ok, so you're 8 months pregnant with a precious baby girl. Let's pretend you also are raising a precocious toddler named Rufflebum.

Now let's pretend - just for the sake of pretending - that on a peaceful Monday morning you receive this text from Mr. San Antonio:

"I just quit."

You wrack your brain for what your husband could have quit...

His gym membership? No... our gym went bankrupt and shut down a few months ago.
His legal magazine? No... that's not worth texting me about.
Smoking? No... he doesn't smoke, so he wouldn't be quitting that.
His job? No... it's his job. He needs a job. Oh ____! He quit his job.


Now, I know we are just pretending, but just in case you ever find yourself in that situation - here are my tips:

1. Do not go into labor.
2. Do not text back in all caps: "WHAT THE ___ ARE YOU THINKING?"
3. Do not run out and apply for unemployment.
4. Do not turn off all the lights in your house in an attempt to decrease that month's electric bill.
5. Do not call the local homeless shelter and ask if they have room at the inn.

1. Do take deep breathes and count to a very high number before responding.
2. Do text back in lower case letters: "please call when you have a moment."
3. Do consider the fact that your husband is a lawyer and can work from anywhere so long as he has some clients willing to go with him.
4. Do be thankful that you can pay this month's bills even with the lights turned on.
5. Do quickly transform your soon-to-be-nursery into a temporary office and pray a more permanent office appears before your baby does.


Also remember that you have access to cheap labor: 

And cheap entertainment:

And most importantly, remind yourself that your husband is doing what he believes is best for you and your family. Trust him. Let him be a man and take a risk and figure things out.

We're just pretending here anyway.... right?

The Pampered Bird

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Journaling - Some Ideas

As promised I am going to share a few thoughts on journaling for those who are interested.

As a heads up - there are no cute Rufflebum pictures, and no funny Rufflebum stories in this post. So if that's all you are here for - feel free to stop reading and check in another day.

If you're wondering what on earth I could possibly have to say about anything not Rufflebum related... then stick around.


So... onto journaling.

I have found journaling to be a wonderful way to record God's blessings in my life. It is a way to keep track of the things weighing on my heart, and follow along as God addresses those things in His own perfect way.

I talked to some friends this past weekend about their experiences with journaling. For all those who had started journaling at one point but given up and stopped there was a common theme:

Their journaling had been all about them.

And I've been there too. For a long time my journals were basically grown up diaries. Places where I lamented how hard my life was, went on and on and on about boy drama, and attempted to spell out my life purpose on paper.

But eventually I got bored with writing about myself. I realized my life was actually full of really good things. And it just didn't feel as cathartic to complain into my "journal" any more.

And that's when I changed how I used my journal.

Oh, I had always written my prayers out in my journal. But my prayers went from being focused on me - to being focused on God.

And when you're writing about God there is no end to what you can say.

Here are the top 3 prompts I now use when journaling (in order of most time consuming to least time consuming):

1. Write out a prayer using the ACTS model.

  • A: Adoration - I start by making a list of God's characteristics that come to mind (Provider, Protector, Redeemer, Friend, Father, Creator, etc.)
  • C: Confession - Then I write out exactly where my heart is that day (stressed, judgmental, fearful, etc.) and ask God to meet me where I'm at.
  • T: Thanksgiving - I make a list of things I am thankful for that day (sometimes this includes specific answers to prayer I've received, sometimes it's for basic things like clean water and my family)
  • S: Supplication - Then I write out the things weighing on my mind and heart (these are my requests to God that I'm hoping will one day get moved to the Thanksgiving list)
2. Use a verse from the Bible as a starting point.
  • Pick a verse (or several) that you've come across lately (maybe from a church, or a devotional book, or a Bible study you're doing).
  • Look at the verse(s) and pick out specific characteristics of God that you see revealed in them.
  • Then spend time thanking God for how he has demonstrated those characteristics in your life recently

3. Make a thankful list.
  • At the end of the day (or once a week, or whatever you have time for) make a quick list of specific things that happened that day that you are thankful for.

The purpose in all three of the above journaling prompts is to help you create a personal database of God's faithfulness in your life. Your journal becomes less about you and more about the character of God revealed personally in your life. 

It is something you can look back at whenever you are going through a difficult time to help encourage yourself and remind yourself that God is an active part of your life and will never leave nor forsake you. 


I will write another post soon on some family friendly activities you can do to commemorate God's faithfulness. 

And in the mean time be on the look out for a post titled "What not to do when you are 8 months pregnant and your husband texts you 'hey babe, I just quit my job!'"

The Pampered Bird

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Conquering Fears

Rufflebum is learning to conquer her fears.

She went from absolutely-no-way-will-i-get-near-that-moving-ride at the park...

To... Not only am I cool, calm and collected in my airplane, but I'm feeling at home enough in this train to go ahead and take off my shoes.

She went from, "rain?!".....

To... I'm going to go ahead and do a little dance in this wet stuff to show how brave I am. Then I'm going to show off my new hair-do.

She went from, don't-you-dare-take-me-near-that-giant-red-fire-truck...

To... Ok I'll tolerate sitting on here so you can take my picture.

She went from wanting me to help her do everything at the park...

To... climbing on things all by herself.

She went from, I'm just going to sit on my little ladybug with wheels...

To... I'm going to stand on my ladybug with wheels.

She went from, don't take me near that bounce house...

To dominating the bounce house.

And it was this process of watching her grow and be brave over the last several weeks (even if it was doing things I didn't approve of - like standing on her ladybug with wheels....), that lead me to be brave myself.

Mr. San Antonio was out of town for work and I was stuck in a house with a lizard.

And I will not pretend to be one of those moms who gladly scoops up lizards so they can show their kids and give their children a wonderful memory of holding a lizard...

The lizard gave me goosebumps. And made me insides squirm.

But I knew I needed to calmly help the lizard back into the wild. And I knew it would be good for Rufflebum to see her mommy be brave.

So I held my breath and scooped up the lizard (using junk mail mind you - not my bare hands!), and "calmly" escorted him outside.

Then I ran to the bathroom because the lizard left me feeling rather queasy.

The deep profound truth that I learned from my lizard experience, is that I really don't like wild animals of any sort unless they are a safe distance away from me. Preferably behind a wall/cage/enclosure from which they cannot escape.

Here's to conquering your fears, and being brave,
The Pampered Bird

Monday, October 28, 2013

Your Thoughts on Journaling

Have you ever journaled?

In a couple weeks I'm going to be talking with a group of women about the process of journaling - the "how-to" side, as well as the blessings that come from actually doing it regularly.

I've been journaling since High School, and have done a lot of different types of journaling over the years. But I realize that I have a particular personality and style that has influenced my process and I want to make sure to provide a well rounded perspective to these women who will be coming from a wide variety of life stages (from college students, to young moms, to retired women).

If you have ever journaled, I'd love to hear from you as I prepare what I'm going to share!

  • What did you like about journaling? What didn't you like?
  • Is there a process that has worked best for you?
  • Have you ever used a book to guide you through journaling or teach you journaling "skills"?
  • Is there a tip you'd love to share with women who are just starting to journal?
  • If you haven't ever really journaled, why not? Does it seem too overwhelming? Do you not know where to start? Does it feel weird (like you're keeping a teenage diary)?
I would love to hear from you (either leave a comment here on the blog, or on Facebook, or send me an email at Your feedback will help me as I prepare what I'm going to share with this group of women. And I promise to write a post or two about journaling after I talk with these women in a couple weeks!

Have a great week!

The Pampered Bird

Thankful List

Things I'm thankful for today in no particular order:

1. The pumpkin Rufflebum painted that is sitting on our mantle.

 2. The extra long hours Mr. San Antonio has been working lately in order to provide for us.

3. The hot drink in my mug. (Ok, the hot drink that was in my mug until I threw out self-control and gulped it down. It had caffeine. I needed to gulp it.)

4. Tylenol, and how well it brings down little people's fevers in the middle of the night.

5. Animals that Rufflebum can pet to her heart's desire (our deer head doesn't count).

6. Friends that share what's on their hearts and listen to what's on mine.

7. People who send notes in the mail just to say they were praying for me that week.

8. The pile of clean newborn baby clothes sitting on my bed waiting to be put away.

9. How every day when I dress Rufflebum she looks at herself and says, "Ooooooh sooooo cuuuuute."

10. My watercolor class and the gift of having 3 hours every week to be creative.

11. My stove that doesn't set off the fire alarm when I boil water.

12. End of the day foot rubs from Mr. San Antonio.

13. This Bible verse: Isaiah 40:11 "He tends his flock like a shepherd:He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."

14. Family - and all the mess and craziness and beauty that "family" means.

15. A car that works.

16. Naps.

17. Snuggles. (And snuggles on a boat in San Diego are even better!)

What are you thankful for today?
The Pampered Bird

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Potty Chair

We have reached the stage where we have a "potty chair" sitting in our bathroom.

I'm not officially "potty training" for several reasons, but I figured having a "potty chair" around could be a good discussion starter (for me and Rufflebum... not me and guests - did I really need to clarify that?), and allow her to move forward when ready.

(Flashback: naked baby picture)

The other night I was getting her ready for her bath and she escaped from me naked (she was naked, not me - did I really need to clarify that?) while yelling "POTTY CHAIR POTTY CHAIR!!"

And sure enough I found her sitting on her potty chair.

So I sat down on the edge of the bathtub and started chatting with her.

A couple minutes later she requested a song.

So I started singing.

Eventually we landed on "Old McDonald had a Farm" - one of her favorites. I always pause and let her yell out what animal is on the farm and 99% of the time she yells "COW!" And I reply with "Really? Another cow?" and she says, "YEAAAAAAH!!!!!" I explain the difference between a ranch and a farm and insist that she is creating a ranch with all her cows, and she ignores me because it makes no sense to her and she continues to call out "COW!"

But this time our interaction went like this:

Me: Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. And on that farm he had a.....
Me: A bat?
Me: I have no idea what sound a bat makes...
Me: Are you sure? What about a cow? Or a dog? Or a pig?
Me: Ok, ok... and on his farm he had a bat? E-I-E-I-O. With a.... (high pitched) eeeeeee here and an eeeeee there...

Me: Well what sound do you think a bat makes?
Me: Yeah... ok, I'm singing, I'm singing. Here an eeeeee, there an eeeeeee, everyone an eeeeeee. Old McDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O.

Several renditions later, Old McDonald no longer has a farm he has a bat cave and my vocal chords will never be the same.

Thirty minutes later... she has done nothing on her potty chair except yell out animals (mainly bats) and laugh at my imitations, so I end the bat farm madness and firmly declare that it is finally bath time and she needs to get off the potty chair.

I turn around to turn on the water and she leaps up, but stops....

I look behind me and see her staring down at the floor.... and the puddle now gathering around her feet.

Inches away from the potty chair.

Somehow I refrain from saying, "EEEEEEE" and calmly place her in the tub while assuring her that it's okay.

There really isn't a moral to this story or a lesson to be learned. Unless you were always wondering what noise a bat makes. Then this story was probably very enlightening.

The Pampered Bird

Monday, October 7, 2013

De-stressing Before Bed

I didn't blog last week because we were on vacation in San Diego... and you know when you get on the airplane and they tell you to turn off all your electronic devices... well I chose to leave them off for the most of the week.

And it felt good.

So good.

We spent the week walking/hiking along cliffs overlooking the beach, visiting San Diego tourist spots, playing board games, eating way too much food, and only worrying about where/how/when to get the babies down for naps.

Usually when I return home from vacations I dread going back to my normal routine. Laundry, dishes, scrubbing toilets, and grocery shopping feel even more mundane than usual. And the view from my window (currently of the trash truck) just doesn't quite compare to the view of the ocean I had for a week.

But this time returning home has been a little easier because it's October, and the weather has finally started to cool down, and there is so much to look forward to in the next days, weeks and months.


The day after we got back we just took it slow. I didn't rush and do the laundry. I didn't buy out the grocery store to refill our fridge. We slept in. We went to church. We rested on the sofas. We walked to Starbucks. We let ourselves re-acclimate to our home and our schedule.

But as the afternoon went on I started to feel the stresses piling back up.

Mr. San Antonio had to leave town for a short business trip and this little voice in my head started saying things like, "you can't function without him here", and "do even remember how to care for your toddler without 10+ family members helping you"? "You'll never get back into your routine." "You probably can't remember how to boil an egg!"

And that pile of laundry no longer said, "I'm so laid back that I don't care if I have to wade through laundry to get to my bed". And it started to say, "If you don't do this laundry right now then your week will be ruined and you will be stressed and by the way you are lazy so get off your butt and get this laundry cleaned, folded and put away. Now."

As I let my mind wander, the feeling of stress piled up and up and up (kinda like my laundry pile).

But God is good and gracious and loving and kind and refused to let me stay in my self-induced stressed-out state of mind.

In His perfect timing, that evening our Community Group...

TANGENT: (if you go to church, then your church might call it a Life Group, a Small Group, etc.), (if you don't go to church, think of it as a group of 10-15 people who are committed to share their lives with each other, be vulnerable about things they struggle with, encourage each other, serve each other, learn from each other, etc.).

(back from tangent)... started a discussion/study on prayer. And we specifically looked at Psalm 4 and how at the end of the Psalm David is able to go to sleep at peace.

Psalm 4:8 "In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."

We talked about how easy it is to spend our last wakeful moments going over all the things that feel stressful and are weighing on our hearts and minds and mulling them over and over and over until we are all worked up.

We talked about how we can sleep through the night but still not be fully rested the next day when our hearts are heavy with things that we haven't given back over to God.

We encouraged each other to spend a few minutes every night before going to bed, really relinquishing these stresses to God and trusting Him to care for us and help us work our way through whatever issues we are facing.

And actually go to sleep at peace and at rest in our hearts.

It was a very timely discussion for me.

And I tried it last night (the whole giving my stresses over to God and really believing that He would take care of me).

It was a good experience. I could feel my body relax as my heart and mind let go of things. I know this sounds like a "new-age" meditation type practice - feeling your body and mind tied together. But what I am talking about is completely different. In those types of practices it is YOU who is trying to control things/emotions/feelings. I'm talking about giving up control. Trusting in a God who is way bigger than yourself. Believing in a Savior who died for you so that you would never have to fear or stress again.

Believing in Jesus is the only way to truly get rid of stress and fear.

Try it with me tonight. Try talking to Jesus and giving Him your stresses at the end of the day.

And instead of letting that laundry pile overwhelm you, know that it will get done in due time.

And that you didn't forget how to boil and egg.

The de-stressing Pampered Bird

Thursday, September 26, 2013


I feel like I need to make a confession.

I just spent $2 in order to get rid of advertisements on my one and only toddler app on my phone.

And it took me 9 months to spend that $2.

Why am I so stubborn and ridiculous?

My whole life has been turned upside down.

Rufflebum can no longer order us life insurance.

She can no longer call India without me realizing it.

And she can no longer purchase a life time supply of socks.

I feel so much freedom.

And from now on I promise to pay for any children's apps I put on my phone to spare me months of hovering and panic and continually having to check my bank account in case someone in India has emptied it.

(Who me?)

On the other hand I didn't hesitate to spend $2 on books this week at our local grocery store (they were having a sale).

They are the worst books I've ever read.

Rufflebum has learned so much more from her flashcard app than she ever will from these horrid books with no plot line.

I take that back. There is a plot line. And it sucks.

Sorry for saying "sucks". Sometimes it just comes out.

But I need to watch my mouth more closely these days because Rufflebum has officially become a "mimicker".

I know this because she's started saying, "Oh shoot" and "I need chocolate".

Just kidding about the chocolate statement. Though wouldn't that be hilarious?

If she said that, I'd totally give her chocolate.

Don't tell her that.
(I heard that!)

Thank you to all of you who prayed for me this morning as I shared how God has been working in my life the last few months in front of a room of women. I shared a refined version of this post:


Oh, and remember this post?

The one where I talked about teaching Rufflebum to speak respectfully?

Yeah... that lesson totally back fired on me.

Today I was asking her to do something and she was not responding. After several tries I finally said, "please" and she immediately did what I asked, and responded with "thank you."

Very humbling moment.





That said...

THANK YOU for reading this little blog and for all your comments, texts, emails etc. when a particular post resonates with you.  I would keep writing even if you didn't give me feedback, but it's good to know there are others out there going through similar things, feeling similar ways, and learning similar lessons.

Have a great weekend!

I mean...

PLEASE have a great weekend!

The Pampered Bird

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Bye Bye Brain

I know last post I said I would talk about what I'm learning about friendships... but to be totally honest I cannot for the life of me remember where I wanted to go with that.

I do know these things:

Quality girlfriends are invaluable.
Being a quality girlfriend is the best way to get quality girlfriends.

Profound huh?

And for now that's as far as I'm going to take that train of thought.


I can't seem to entertain very long or deep thoughts these days in any category.

Could be this baby kicking and punching me all day and night.

Could be our really busy schedule.

Could be I have a toddler who doesn't sit still.

If Mr. San Antonio had walked home just 5 minutes earlier tonight he would have walked in on me laying on the sofa playing a game on my phone while Rufflebum watched Sesame Street on the computer. See those dolls below and how peaceful they look resting? Imagine me like that, except with a phone in my hands.

But I managed (not on purpose) to look really productive when he got home - and was in the middle of putting pajamas on a clean toddler.

Now I'm patting myself on the back.

Once for actually bathing my toddler instead of saying, "eh... she didn't sweat that much today, let's hold off."

And once for putting clean pajamas on her instead of saying, "eh... these aren't that dirty... if you squint."

And a final time for some how tricking my mother into coming to my house and folding my laundry by saying something like, "I made muffins, and you can play with your granddaughter."


Rufflebum's three current favorite games go a little something like this:

1. Hide-and-seek. She covers her eyes for about 1 second which gives me a chance to throw a designated item somewhere in the room. She then tries to find it. And I've discovered the trick: just put the item behind your back. It tricks her every. single. time. And she is delighted when she finally discovers it.

2. Animal noises. I say, "does the cow say "woof woof?" and she says, "noooooo" with a big grin. I proceed to ask her if the cow says a whole variety of incorrect noises. Finally I ask, "does the cow say 'mooo'"? And she says, "yeaaaah". In a tone like, "wow, Mom I never thought about that, but you're right the cow does say "moo".

3. Take care of her baby dolls. By "take care" I mean smother with blankets (see picture below), force feed from her milk cup, and drag around by the arm/leg/neck.


On a final note, tomorrow I start my third trimester.

That's all I really have to say about that. Again because I have no brain cells left.

Perhaps because I'm entering third trimester?

Is that documented science yet?

Oh, and I'm supposed to share how God has been working in my life in front of a bunch of women tomorrow morning, so if you think of saying a prayer I'd appreciate it. You might want to pray something like this, "Please God, give her some brain cells back. And don't let her start making animal noises while she is speaking. And thank you for her mother who folded her laundry today so she'll have clean clothes to wear tomorrow. Amen."

The Pampered Bird

Friday, September 20, 2013

Learning to Show Mercy

I'm going to try something new today: stream of consciousness writing.

Usually I don't post unless I have something specific to write about. A story, a recipe, an update of some sort. But that causes a couple problems:

1. My life really isn't that interesting. And so if I'm going to wait to write only when something sorta-kinda-maybe interesting happens... well then as you've seen my posts are pretty spread out.

2. I wrote a few weeks ago that I want this blog to be a place where I share what God is doing in my life and in my family's life. But too often I (we) think that it's not worth talking about unless God is doing something very obvious in our life (those "lightning bolt moments" where it's really obvious that God is at work). But the truth is that if you have confessed with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and are spending time with him (praying, reading the Bible, etc.) regularly... then He is always at work in and through you even in really small ways that you might never get to see the result of (see end of post: Philippians 1:6, 1 Thessalonians 2:13).

For those two reasons I'm going to try to write more frequently. And not care so much about having the perfect story to share. Hopefully just being honest about the things I'm thinking about and praying about will encourage someone else and bring glory to God.


This week has held two themes.
A. How should I approach disciplining Rufflebum? Tactics, motives, etc.
B. How can I be a better friend to the women God has put in my life right now.

I had an experience last week with disciplining (teaching) Rufflebum about speaking respectfully to me. I realize she is 20 months old, and 20 month-old children whine and yell and do whatever they can to get you to respond because they don't always have the vocab or the patience to get your attention in a more respectful way. But Rufflebum knows how to say "Please" and "thank you" and other respectful words. She simply was not choosing to use them. And one day it got really out of hand. Eventually I was fed up with correcting her every time she yelled at me, and decided she needed a time out to understand that I really meant what I was saying to her. She sat on her time-out pillow for 1 minute and I went in and asked her if she was ready to be polite and say (whatever the word was I was trying to get her to use at the time I don't remember now). She said "no" and refused to say "the word".

So I said she needed to spend another minute in time out.

For 20 minutes we had this stubborn battle. Every minute I would go in and ask her to speak nicely, and each time she would say no. Slowly she started to whimper, then cry and then bawl.

After 20 minutes I realized that we had passed the point of her understanding the lesson and had moved into a territory where she just felt overwhelmed and depleted and uncertain of what her future held. I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to let it go. To be willing to drop the fight and just comfort her and offer her mercy and forgiveness WITHOUT her being repentant.

Because that's what Jesus did for me.

He died on the cross while I was still dead in my sin. He died for me before I was even born. Before I had ever turned my back on him. And loooooong before I ever felt sorry for the things I had done. He died for me and forgave me before I asked him to forgive me.

So I went in and knelt down and asked her if she wanted to pray. She said "yes".

I told her I forgave her for being disrespectful and rude toward me. I told her that I love her and will always love her. And then we prayed. First I prayed (out loud so she could hear) for my heart. And asked God to forgive me for all the times I am disrespectful towards others and toward him.  Then I prayed for her heart, that she would see her own sin, and one day repent of it and accept Jesus's sacrifice on her behalf.

As we stood up my thought was, "well I lost that one, no way did that message get through to her, I'll have to just suck it up through the rest of the day and deal with this again tomorrow."

But she did get it. Not once the rest of the day (and rarely in the last week) has she yelled at me, or whined, or spoken disrespectfully. She has said "please" and "thank you" almost to the extreme.

My prayer (now) is that I didn't scare her into behaving because she doesn't want the consequence. My prayer is that her heart accepted my forgiveness and my unconditional love as a very broken representation of Jesus' love for her, and that she is simply responding to that grace with renewed confidence and appreciation.

Too much to expect from a 20 month old? Maybe...

Disciplining has so far been the aspect of parenting that stresses me out the most. Am I too harsh? Am I too soft? Will I scar her for life?

And I'll just be honest. I know there are a TON of disciplining methods and strategies and an equal number of studies and reasons to do each one (and I have dear friends in almost every camp of the discipline spectrum). But when I look at the Bible I see this:

To those who outright turn their backs on God and choose to have nothing to do with him - God treats very harshly.

To those who try to love God (in spite of being broken, and sinful, and messing up over and over and over), God shows mercy (he allows there to be consequences for their actions, but he never destroys them, he always draws them back to himself with love).

So I'm going to try my hardest to show mercy to my children. To combine consequences (because there are always consequences to our sin), with prayer and forgiveness and unconditional love.


Today at lunch Rufflebum had a mouth full of milk and I did something that made her laugh and the milk went flying all over. She looked at me with wide eyes - full of fear and embarrassment. She hadn't done anything wrong, but she was worried that she had. Immediately I grabbed a towel and as I cleaned up I assured her that everything was okay and told her a story about when I had milk in my mouth and laughed so hard it came out my nose. Her face changed into a grin and I continued with our game that had made her laugh in the first place.

That's the kind of mom I want to be all the time. I want her to know that I'm on her side. That I am not surprised by her faults. That her imperfections (and her sins) aren't going to deter me from rooting for her, for praying for her, for loving her.


I don't know how coherent all that is. And I wrote more than I expected so I'll share about learning to be a better friend another day.

In the mean time, keep pressing on in whatever God is calling you to do in your stage of life. And if you don't have a relationship with Jesus I'd love to tell you more about mine - just shoot me an email

Lots of love,
The Pampered Bird

Verses mentioned above:
Philippians 1:6 "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

1 Thessalonians 2:13 "And we also thank God constantly for this, that when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men but as what it really is, the word of God, which is at work in you believers."

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Banana Bread

Now that Rufflebum is old enough to stand on a chair in the kitchen without grabbing knives, tipping the chair backwards, or simply falling off head first - I'm trying to include her in simple baking/cooking activities. Not only does this get her used to helping me in the kitchen, but it prevents her from unrolling the entire roll of toilet paper while I'm cooking and/or emptying the tissue box of Every. Single. Tissue.

Now I want to smoothly transition into a banana bread recipe but I have pregnancy brain and my thoughts are not cohesive this afternoon and so just ride the crazy train with me for a minute and I promise we'll get there in the end. 

Side note: If "ride the crazy train" has a meaning that I'm not aware of and I just said something inappropriate I apologize. 

Ok so banana bread is a staple in our house because:
1. I love baked goods
2. I have a rule never to buy baked goods, I can only eat it if I've made it
3. It has fruit in it so it's "healthy". 

I've tried at least 10 different banana bread recipes since we've been married. Some have yogurt, some have whole wheat flour, some have applesauce instead of oil, some have nuts, some don't, etc. 

But after 4 years and many many many loaves of banana bread, I've decided that the only recipe I will use from here on out is my great-grandmother's original (not fancy, not "healthy", just regular old) recipe, with two small changes on my end. 

Original Recipe (with my two changes in parenthesis):
1/2 cup of butter
1 cup sugar (I only use 1/2 a cup)
2 beaten eggs
3 bananas (I use 4-5 and make sure at least some of them are in the "black" category because they are much sweeter - hence why I can decrease the sugar content above)
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup chopped nuts (I don't use nuts I use raisins, because Mr. San Antonio loves raisins)

(My mom added the tradition of sprinkling about 1 TB of cinnamon/sugar mixture on top before baking)

Bake in greased loaf pan, or 8x8 or 9x9 at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.

How I make it:
I start by getting out all my ingredients and turning on the oven to 350 degrees. I do this while Raffi plays in the living room and Rufflebum is contentedly "shaking her sillies out, clapping her crazies out", etc. (Please tell me someone else listens to Raffi?!)

Eventually the noises coming from the kitchen win out over "wheels on the bus" and Rufflebum frantically tries to bring her chair in to "help" me.  

As part of prepping I like to melt the butter almost all the way liquid when I'm letting Rufflebum help mix- it's much easier for her.  

The butter and sugar are put in the bowl, Rufflebum is handed a wooden spoon and she starts "mixing". 

(side note: these pictures were not taken at our house, this is Mimi and Granda's house)

I realize she's wearing something I'd prefer not to wash banana stains out of so I pause to undress her to her diaper. 

Once half the batter is securely splattered on the counter, wall, floor, and her hair I add the eggs and have a "mommy's turn" at the stirring. 

Then I add the mashed bananas and give Rufflebum another turn at mixing (which she does with one hand securely immersed in the batter and the other hand clutching the spoon which goes from the bowl to the counter to her mouth and around again). 

I add in the dry ingredients and have another "mommy's turn". 

I attempt to add back in the batter that's been spread around the kitchen (germs will die in the oven right?) and I pour the mix into a 8x8 or 9x9 pan and sprinkle the top with cinnamon and sugar. 

Bread goes into the oven, Rufflebum goes into the bath or out to the hose (who am I kidding? she gets a baby wipe rub down - who wants to go through two bath times in one day!?). 

I only bake mine for 25-30 minutes (which is significantly shorter than the recommended time). This is partly because I use an 8x8 instead of a loaf pan, but also because our oven cooks fast, and also I'd rather have slightly underdone banana bread than too dry banana bread. But that's just me. 

When it's done we eat half the pan because: 
1. I'm pregnant
2. There are bananas so it's "healthy"
3. Life's too short to only eat dainty bites of banana bread in a sitting.

What do you like to bake/cook with your kids? 

The Pampered Bird

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Is My Toddler Lying: A case study

How to know if your toddler is lying: A case study.

Conversation to be analyzed:

Me: Are you tired?
Rufflebum: No.

Sources of Information used to analyze the above conversation:

1. Facial Expressions
2. Body Language
3. Use of blankie
4. Tone of voice
5. Actions taken after conversation was completed.

The following facial expressions were observed in the respondent:
- Grimace
- Half closed eyes
- Tightened lips
- Upturned nose

The following body language was observed in the respondent:
- Rubbing eyes with hand
- Rubbing eyes with blankie
- Laying head down on sofa
- Lying down completely on the floor

 The following use of the blankie was observed in the respondent:
- Using blankie to rub eyes
- Using blankie to cushion head while lying on the floor
- Draping blankie around shoulders

The following tone of voice was observed in the respondent:
- "No" was actually spoken as: "NOOOOOOOO"
- I detected an unnecessary volume in the response, as well as an unnecessary use of vehemence.

The followng actions were taken by the respondent after the conversation:
- Sobbing
- Walking to her room and trying to climb into her crib
- Frantic searching for her pink doll, her blue doll, and her purple blankie (she had already been holding the turtle blankie throughout the time we've been discussing).
- An inability to choose a naptime book without dissolving into tears.

The above observations led me to the following conclusion:

- My toddler was not telling the truth when she responded "no" to the question, "are you tired?"

Final thoughts:
I believe this study can be duplicated in all future verbal interactions with my toddler in order to discern whether or not she is telling me the truth.

Final final thoughts:
Apparently the zoo is an excellent way to exhaust my toddler.

The Pampered Bird

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Rufflebum 19 month Update

Summer break is over and our routine is changing back to how I like it - structured!

I spent last weekend at a bachelorette get-a-way for a dear friend which was a great, relaxing way to finish off the summer. 

Then this week we jumped into Community Bible Study training (I'll be teaching the 3-year-olds again this year - check out this post to see my first experience with this age group - If only they knew....). 

When I picked Rufflebum up from the CBS daycare on Thursday she said, "Hi Mommy! Fuuuuun!!" So I think she had a good time.

And here is a quick update on where Ruffle Bum is developmentally.


She is 19 months and counting. 

Things that made Rufflebum cry this week: 
1. I put away the mop.
2. I stopped brushing my own hair.
3. I offered her breakfast.
4. I offered her a snack.
5. I put the mop away again.
6. Mr. San Antonio accidentally touched her blanket.
7. She couldn't find her doll.
8. She found her doll.
9. It was the wrong doll.
10. I told her she couldn't draw on the sofa.
11. I told her she couldn't draw on the chair.
12. I put away the mop, again.
13. My mother offered her cheese.
14. I didn't sing loud enough in the car.
15. And finally, I put away the mop for the 100th time.

Words Rufflebum says in a British accent (despite not spending time with anyone with a British accent):
1. Turtle
2. Okay

Her favorite activities around the house (in no particular order):
1. Diving into a large floor pillow.
2. Jumping off the fireplace hearth.
3. Climbing up and down any piece of furniture she can find.
4. Drinking out of "daddy's cup"
5. Drinking out of her "purple cup"
6. Mopping the floors.
7. Dancing to music.
8. Wearing mommy's shoes.
9. Taking care of her baby dolls.

Number of times she asked for her purple cup this week:
1,567 (give or take a few)

Things Rufflebum has a borderline attachment disorder with:
1. Her purple cup.
2. The mop.


Hope you had a wonderful, relaxing weekend!

The Pampered Bird

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Bedtime Routine

Bedtime at our house goes something like this...

Me: "Oh Ruffle Bum darling, sweet, perfect angel, it's time for bed."
RB: "Ok mommy!"

RB runs to bathroom, brushes her teeth, then skips to her room and calmly waits for me to change her diaper and put her pajamas on. From there she quickly chooses 3-4 books for me to read to her in an uninterrupted fashion. We thank Jesus for our day and pray for someone we know who is sad/hurting/sick/etc. and she willingly lays down in her bed and closes her eyes while I sing a song and turn out the light. And I don't hear a peep until the next morning.


Now pardon me while I go wipe the tears from my eyes... I'm laughing too hard.

If our bedtime routine looked like the above, I don't think you'd be my friend anymore. In fact I wouldn't be my friend any more.

Technically our routine has all the components listed above: declaration of bedtime, teeth brushing, diaper changing, book reading, praying etc. but that's about where the similarities end.

In reality is looks more like this:

Me: Ruffle Bum, it's bed time!
RB: Cup?
Me: You can have one more sip, then you're done. Great, now let's go brush your teeth.
RB: (Takes toothbrush and runs around the house)
Me: Girl! Why do you have so much energy!? I'm exhausted! Get back here and let me finish brushing your teeth. (Either Mr. San Antonio or I tackle RB and finish the teeth brushing)
RB: (Runs around the house again)
Me: (Captures RB and hauls her cute butt to the changing table)
RB: Cup?
Me: No, you already had a cup.
RB: Car?
Me: No, we're not going in the car, it's bed time.
RB: Woof woof?
Me: No, we're not going to see the dogs, it's bed time.
RB: Cup?

We move to the chair to read stories. RB takes her precious time picking one out. So I pick one out and she screams. I give her a few more seconds to choose...

Me: Is that the book you want?
RB: No. (as she hands it to me and climbs in my lap)
Me: Oh ok. That's totally logical.

I start to read the story and am interrupted every sentence while she asks me what every single thing is in every single picture. Then she starts naming the letters she sees in the words.

This is repeated 2-3 more times depending on the length of the book and my patience level.

After we read, we pray. That is the only part that goes as planned. She loves when we pray.

Then I put her in her crib, turn on her music and fan and start to sing a song.

Me: Jesus loves me...
RB: Cup?
Me: This I know...
RB: Purple cup?
Me: For the Bible...
RB: Mimi? Woof Woof? Car?
Me: Tells me so...
RB: Up? Cup? Purple cup?
Me: Little ones to Him belong...
RB: Woof Woof? Daddy's car? Baby Doll?
Me: They are weak but He is strong...
RB: Baby Doll's cart? Cup? Daddy? Purple cup? Daddy? Mommy?
Me: Yes, Jesus loves me...
RB: Apple? Cup? Daddy? Baby Doll? Daddy?
Me: Yes, Jesus loves me...
RB: Woof Woof? Car? Mommy's car? Daddy's car? Baby Doll's cart?
Me: Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.

I give her a kiss and say good night.

The Pampered Bird


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